Updated: Feb 11, 2020
I really love being black.
I've never had the issue with hating my skin color.
The only thing that bothered me about being black was racism and constantly having to worry about being accepted in a predominatley white city.
Being black is one thing. Growing up Haitian-American in a time where being Haitian wasn't the "cool thing" was another. I couldn't even relate to my black peers.
I once wished I was mixed with black and white because to the 8 year old me it seemed like the mixed kids had the best of both worlds.
They didn't have to worry about being too ghetto because they had the other half of them that supposably wasn't.
They didn't have to ever question whether a guy would talk to them because of the fact they were black because they were mixed.
I'll never forget 16-year old Christina Facetiming her mixed crush at the time and having him tell one of his family members ask him if I was his girlfriend only for him to respond with "No, she's black."
This one scenario shifted my perspective on mixed people, as I soon realized that they seem to be in touch with one side more than the other.
Your racism is not my problem.
I'm going to eat at that restaurant even if I am the only black girl.
I'm not going to move out of the way for you because you think you can intimidate me with a look.
I'm not going to fight you because you call me a "nigger."
My ancestors have fought way too hard.
My heart hurts for the little black girl in the room with little white girls who struggles to see her beauty.
My heart hurts for my little sister who goes to a predominately white school where non-black students replace the "g" in nigga with a "b" just so they can be able to use the word in some altered way rather than to not say any variation of it at all.