I went from being the girl who graduated high school with a 5.01 GPA and a full-ride to college, to the girl who had a mental breakdown, prepared to drop out last semester, and had to call my parents to come pick me up because I had so much anxiety that I couldn't drive. I went from being the girl who could not wait to introduce herself to everyone in the room to the girl who was the first to leave any type of social gathering.
Confession: I was broken....as hell and last semester was the semester from hell.
These past few months I had to take a break from everything and everyone because the person staring back at me when I stood in front of a mirror, I didn't even recognize.
I didn't want to get on my blog and put out depressing content because I was in a super bad place, but at the same time that was my reality.
It bothers me that as people we never really take the time to show the process, but rush to show the outcome. Think about that.
The person I was a little over a year ago, is not the same person I am today. What happened to her? That bright-eyed, super positive Christina that NO ONE could bring down. The one when they told no, showed them why they should have said yes.
My environment broke my spirit. My dependence on other people eventually broke my natural love for others and my heart.
I can finally admit that I am not happy and that's okay.
It would have been easier for me to continue going through the motions and being unhappy than to have to sit-back, analyze, and tackle my life from a different angle.
I am going to push myself to blog everyday this month. To be open and honest with myself. To forget that this is out there for the world to see. To get back to what the root of this blog was supposed to be. To work on getting back to me.
So, here is Day 1 out of 29 of the best month ever. See you tomorrow and the 27 days after that.
Happy Black History Month as well.