Updated: Feb 11
The picture above is me. It's blurry lol but it's still me. I had to be around 15 or 16 years old getting ready for yet another Sunday morning at my Haitian church. I most likely didn't feel like going, but I was forced to by my lovely parents because *SURPRISE* I am a Preacher's Kid.
You want to know what that's like?
It's your dad being able to be there for everyone and their children, but not there for his own family because they take up all his time.
It's having people in the church spread rumors about you just because you're the PK.
It's putting on this fake smile and fake show like your family is perfect and we all get along even though we don't talk once we get in the car and head home.
It's constantly feeling judged from the way your hair is worn to the way you speak.
It's being expected to not make any mistakes when all the other kids in church get to make mistakes freely.
It's not having anyone to call your pastor because the relationship role your parent plays in your life has been blurred.
It's not being able to clearly define your relationship with God because you can't even be yourself in what you're supposed to call your "home church."
That's what it's like.
So I left.
Once I turned 18 I made the decision to leave my dad's church and start exploring what I believed. I was told a lot growing up regarding religion and I never stopped and thought to really question it until now.
Who said Christianity was the religion for me? My parents? lol.
Not saying it's not, but I'm not saying it is either. I have to figure it out.
I'll share more in time.