SECOND THOUGHTS

Updated: Dec 11, 2018





Can we talk about how much I’m freaking out right now?


I leave for college tomorrow... and I'm scared as hell.


My emotions are everywhere, they're at an all-time high, and they come in various waves.


One day I'll wake up super excited, looking forward to my new life in Tallahassee.

The next day I'm ready to call my school and withdraw LOL.


Now the day is almost here and I don't even know how to act.


Will I make friends easily?

Will I be able to focus as much on my studies as I have in the past?

Will my mental health get in the way of things?

Will I have the same experience I did in high school?


I guess a lot of my worries are coming from my not so good past experiences in school and with people just not receiving me well and the example I have to set.


As a first-generation college kid, the pressure is extremely evident. Every day another family member approaches me with their concerns about me going off to college and

things I should "look out" for (drugs, fake friends etc.) While I 100% appreciate their concerns, it only adds to my stress and worries.


It clarifies the fact that there are a lot more people watching and looking up to me than I realized.


I have a standard to set for not only my younger siblings but my cousins and younger friends as well.


Then there’s the other side of things.

The side that I need to embrace more.

I’m so excited to be in a new environment, surrounded by new people and new experiences.


In reality, I know I'll be fine. I know that I will find organizations and people that I can relate to. I know that I will get my degree when it's all said and done.

I know that I'm going to do amazing things and have amazing experiences.


I’m going to look back at this post in a year and laugh.


It's just those butterflies that are getting to me right now.


I just have to allow myself to let those good things happen, be open-minded, and go with the flow.


I am choosing to mentally invest in the positive instead of focusing on the negative.



So.. here's to the next few years of my life.




Love Always,


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© 2018 by ChristinaJaneP All Rights Reserved.